There’s no heartbeat. You can schedule your D&C at the front desk. Do you have any questions or concerns for today? It’s a quick recovery. You should feel fine after a couple of days. At least it happened early in the pregnancy. Please call me back. I'm worried about you. She probably doesn’t want to talk about it, so I won’t say anything. You were able to get pregnant at least. What’s your diet like? Have you been stressed? Be grateful you already have a child. I’m glad the procedure went well- what do you have planned for the rest of the week? I don't want to bring it up again. It's been so long. She seems to have moved on. I’m sure you can try again soon. There was something wrong with that pregnancy. You’re better off.
What if instead she heard…
I’m sorry. I know this isn’t the news you were expecting to hear today. You’re not alone in this. Call us if you need anything. Your hormones may be in flux for a bit. Take care of your body and your mental health. It’s okay to grieve the loss of a future you thought you had. Is there anything I can do to support you right now? It doesn't matter if it's today or weeks from now, I am here to listen if you'd like to talk about it. I’m so sorry. I’m not sure what to say, but I am here if you need anything. How are you feeling both mentally and physically? Whatever you’re feeling right now is valid, and you don’t need to feel any other way but that. Take time to rest and heal. I know it’s been a few weeks- I’m checking in to see how you’re doing today. Be gentle with yourself. The right little soul will meet you at exactly the right time.
It’s hard to know the right thing to say, and there isn’t a perfect way to respond. Our words carry a lot of weight, and I definitely said some of the wrong things in the past. After our missed miscarriage, we realized what a taboo topic this still is. I think the assumption is that someone going through this won’t want to talk about what happened afterward. And while that may be true for some, we found that sharing our “secret” helped us heal and move forward with faith. We are so grateful for our family and friends for checking in, offering support and just simply being there to listen.
Hugs to anyone who has experienced a pregnancy loss or has struggled with infertility. If you haven’t heard of Gabby Bernstein, check out her podcast. I think she has a beautiful way of looking at the journey to becoming a mom. Above all else, be gentle on yourself mama.
