Wouldn’t it be nice to end each day with a cocktail in hand? No judgment here if that’s already part of your night routine. Just a quick heads up though – I’m not about to share my favorite cocktail recipe. The cocktail I’m referring to in this post, is your top 3 must have self-care practices that help keep your buzz going all day long.
Why make self-care a priority?
It wasn’t until my late 20s, when I was out of work for really bad back pain, that I realized how much stress takes a toll on our bodies. When Covid hit, my stress levels spiked. Overnight I had to figure out how to teach and provide services to my special education students virtually. I worried, along with the rest of us, about all the unknowns of Covid.
The upside was that during those weird months of being isolated, I suddenly found the time for walks, meditating, reading, journaling, and connecting with loved ones. I quickly found myself feeling happier, and my relationship with my husband was the strongest it had ever been.
We got pregnant that summer and the world went back to some normalcy. I slowly started to lose the healthy self-care habits I had created when the world was shut down. Soon after that, I became a mom, and finding time for self-care became nearly impossible.
Sometimes I think we make parents feel guilty for taking time for self-care. I’d argue that we can’t be the parents we need to be to our children when we don’t take care of ourselves first.
I’m not the only person who benefits from my own self-care
Here’s the honest truth- I don’t like who I am when I don’t make time for myself. I’m not a fun wife or mom when my back and stomach ache, or when I’m feeling anxious or low. No one wants to be around that version of me…not even me.
During some of my lowest lows this past year, it became clear to me that I needed to stop using excuses like, “I’m a mom and I don’t have time for myself.” The only person responsible for your well-being is YOU.
Shift your perspective on self-care
It was my New Year’s resolution to do 1 thing for myself each day. I brainstormed a list of self-care ideas that excited me.
Yoga has brought me so much healing in the past, so I thought joining a studio would be a great start. However, I was quickly frustrated when I realized I didn’t have enough help with childcare to make it to a class each week. I then tried virtual classes at home, feeling even more frustrated when my daughter was climbing on me and crying for me to pick her up.
Things like getting a massage or trying a new hobby seemed too big. Even “exercise daily” seemed daunting when I thought about trying to squeeze it in every day.
After a long walk and talk with one of my favorite and very wise Aunts, she shared that there are certain things she needs to do each day in order to keep her mind right. She tries really hard to make sure she does those things every day. After reflecting on what she said and my own failed attempts at self-care, I realized that a simple shift in perspective was all I needed for me to view self-care as a priority instead of an unrealistic goal I was always chasing.
Just like a classic cocktail with only 3 ingredients can keep you feeling good, it takes just 3 self-care habits to keep me feeling that buzz all day long.
My Self-Care Cocktail:
Time alone in the morning
Where my morning mamas at? Drinking my coffee alone while the rest of the house is still asleep is my favorite way to start the day. I try really hard to make sure I use the time for myself. This means if I see dishes piled high in the dish rack, I can’t touch them during this time.
This is my favorite time to journal or read a book. Some days I use this time to go for a walk or do yoga alone. Some mornings I just use the time to organize my thoughts for the day, set intentions or make a to-do list. I’ve come to LOVE this hour alone so much that I find myself waking up early even on the days when my husband has offered to get up with our daughter.
Spending time outdoors
Stepping outside can be a total mood shift for me. Sometimes my morning alone is best spent on my front porch sipping coffee. The sights and sounds outside help me stay more present than meditation practice ever did. When the weather’s nice I make my husband dine al fresco on our back deck.
Ever notice how a baby stops crying the minute you take them outside? Kids also love the outdoors, so we always make time for outdoor play or a stroll around the neighborhood.
Intentional Movement
Obviously everyone benefits from exercise. It also goes without saying that it’s hard to find the time to fit it into our busy lives especially when you’re a parent. Trying to check off a box for exercise each day left me feeling stressed about working out and guilty when I couldn’t fit it into my day. On the flip side, I feel depressed when I don’t exercise enough. The big shift for me was realizing that exercise didn’t always have to be a full-blown workout.
It really doesn’t matter what kind of exercise I’m doing that day, as long as I’m intentional with that time. For example, I can take my daughter for a walk and use that time to brainstorm a grocery list or schedule a doctor’s appointment. Or I can intentionally leave my phone at home and use that time to connect with nature and chat with my daughter about all the things we see. I can attend an hour long yoga class, but be thinking about everything I have to do after the class. Or I can set the intention to focus on my breathing and stay present on the mat.
Sometimes I do an hour of cardio while listening to my favorite podcast. Other times I spend just 15 minutes doing yoga stretches in complete silence. As long as I’m moving intentionally, I feel good.
How to create your own self-care cocktail
Once I started turning some of these good practices into good HABITS, I was happier. And when mama’s happy, the whole house is happy.
So how do you create your own self-care cocktail? Think about self-care habits that are most important to YOU. This is YOUR signature cocktail. Choose habits that you can’t live a day without, habits that fuel your soul and habits that make you a happier version of you. Pick 3 that you’re able to put into practice every single day.
Have more time in your day to add a 4th ingredient? Treat yourself queen! Drop a comment below and tell me what ingredients are in your self-care cocktail.
